Asperger Teens and Friendships

When you are age 13 and up making friends becomes a form of cooperation: working together towards the same goal. This is one of the hardest things for Asperger teens to learn. Working together means taking the feelings of others into consideration and being able to put yourself into their shoes. Knowing what the other one thinks and feels becomes the basis for the relationships with other teens. One has to be aware of what your own behavior triggers in the other person. Due to their lack of empathy the effect their behavior has on others is difficult to imagine for those teens with Asperger Syndrome.

Asperger teens are able to develop these social skills later on in life. Teens and their parents or caregivers must realize they need more time to learn how to interact with their peers. Most teens with Asperger Syndrome will prefer the company of younger children instead of those their own age. Since some of their development can be delayed this gives them the opportunity to learn more social skills.

Interaction at this age is a complex situation of subtleness and reading nonverbal signs other people give you. One has to be willing to open up and share all the things you are insecure about with others. Off course before you are able to do so you have to know yourself well and be willing to share your insights. Mutual trust is a big issue among teens. Due to their delayed development of empathy and impairments in communication these things are hard for Asperger teens to learn. Actually Asperger teens are still a little naive and emotionally immature for their age. They will prefer platonic friendships and need help in order to adjust to the new demands made on them by their peers. Most of the time they prefer having one person for company instead of a group of people. Chances are when more people make different demands on them at the same time they are unable to cope and could withdraw from interaction.

Parenting an Asperger Teen

If your Asperger teen does not have a best friend yet some-one else should step in and take that role for a while. Every teens needs a person he or she can confide in, who will encourage and comfort them. Giving your teen self-confidence by taking the time to talk about his or her qualities or strengths will give them more insight in their own behavior and how this can effect others. Explaining what their behavior does to you is a good place to start.

There are books or sometimes special projects in school for Asperger teens on making friends. These kind of programs can be very helpful and should be encouraged. Social isolation and depression among Asperger teens can be more common then we think. They will doubt themselves for not being successful in their social interactions. This is all a matter of time. They will be able to learn sufficient social skills to become successful in life and once they are adults they are more in control of picking out their own company. Asperger teens are able to start and maintain long-lasting friendships during their adolescence but they need support and encouragement from people they love to be able to do so.


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