Asperger Siblings

To have Asperger siblings can be a huge challenge, for any normal child. Most of the attention of the parents is focused on the child with Asperger Syndrome and family time is effected by their behavior. Those siblings without Aspergers can get frustrated and upset because they can not understand their brothers or sisters behavior. Why do they wreck my toys all the time? Why do they chase away my friends who come over to play? How come they hardly get punished by mom and dad?
But even when you are old enough to do understand, it can be so hard to have to deal with your Asperger siblings all the time. It is not easy to always be the one who understands, the wiser one who will take the typical behavior in consideration and sets aside his or her own feelings for the sake of peace.
Normal siblings without Asperger Syndrome may often feel embarrassed in front of their friends and it can be difficult to not be able to have a normal relationship with your Asperger Sibling. Some siblings will get angry because so much of the family time will go to those Asperger siblings at their expense.
The three impairments that are characteristic for Asperger Syndrome and have an effect on the relationship between siblings are:

1. Lack of Social Interaction:

For those with Aspergers it is hard to show empathy even with their own siblings. They are stuck on routines and rules and want to have things their way. They can be rigid in their thinking and will see things from their own point of view only. This will give them the security they need in order to deal with the world around them.

Some individuals with Asperger Syndrome will set the rules every time they will play with their siblings. This way they can be in control of the situation. They will set rules that will only benefit themselves. Rules they need in order to win or dominate the game. They will also have a hard time sharing or taking turns with their siblings

2. Lack of Communication:

Children with Asperger are able to talk about things they are interested in for hours and hours. This form of communication is detailed and one- sided. However they do not know how to engage their siblings in a two way conversation and might not have a true interest in their hobby’s. Those with Asperger will break into conversations without even knowing they interrupted something. They are known for interfering with their siblings friends who come over to play and will try to dominate the conversation or situation.

3. Lack of Imagination:

Children with Asperger will show a lack of imagination by not being able to join their siblings in imaginative play. They tend to see the world from a realistic point of view and will get stuck in their rigid thinking. Their need for rules and controlling the situation will make them sometimes use their non Asperger siblings as a pawn in their play.

A Different Role

Siblings without Asperger may be drawn into roles such as teachers or secondary parents and many find these roles difficult to fulfill since it will take away so much of their own childhood and will set aside their own needs. A brother or sister with Asperger is easier to love when it does not hurt you or break your precious toys. For most normal siblings Asperger becomes a central experience in their lives as well and they see their Asperger siblings as having the spotlight. Not an easy situation for a child.

Advice

Asperger siblings may be easier to deal with when you as a child feel loved and respected too. When you are given space to vent your feelings of anger or frustration or when you are able to talk about how hard it can be to really love your brother or sister with Aspergers. For siblings it is very important to get some private time with mom or dad every week. Even when it is just an hour or two. It can make a huge difference in their lives and might enable them to handle the situation better

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